Showing posts from January, 2020

Being "Good" Almost Cost Me My Faith

I have believed in Jesus since I was 12 years old.  I feared Him before that, but around that age, I decided that I wanted what my preacher said He was offering.  I raised my hand to tell Jesus that I knew I was a sinner destined for Hell without Him and that I wholeheartedly chose Him over that.  Right then and there, I decided that I needed to be a " good girl " for Jesus. And oh, did I try.  Awkwardly, but fervently, I tried to reject the bad and embrace the good.  This started a decades-long season of chasing a forever moving line that divided " right " and " wrong ." For the next twenty years, I followed along with passion as I learned so many conflicting " truths " about the Bible and how to follow it.  I doubted tongues, I believed in tongues.  I doubted gifts, I embraced gifts.  I watched my mouth religiously, I heard a pastor toss out an "F" bomb in the name of grace and relevance.  I stayed quiet in meetings, I led Bible st